Adventure of a Lifetime

So my week started out by me getting sick, fun I know. I think it’s God’s way of telling me to slow the heck down and relax. My weekend however, was very eventful. The funny thing is Saturday night I was sitting in my PJ’s and all I had planned was to watch La La Land but a good friend of mine invited me to Chapman & Kirby’s The Fool’s Ball. The event was a private sneak preview of this super chic industrial style GastroLounge and Premium Event space. As soon as I walked in, I fell in love. The venue was huge and the décor was very different. I even got to enjoy the beautiful weather by stepping out to the outdoor patio area. I can definitely see this place being one of the top places to be and be seen in Houston. Oh, and don’t forget the perfect picture taking spot under a sign that says “Houston, this city is mine.” The private party alone brought a great crowd and all I could think was I would’ve been in pj’s missing out on all this.

I definitely love my weekends especially when I attend cool events like this but that’s not what I live for. There’s so many memes, captions, and people in general waiting for it to be Friday when it’s barely Tuesday. I don’t live for weekends, or Fridays, or holidays. How can you truly live your life when you’re letting most of it pass by you? I treat my life and everything I do like an adventure even if that means going to Commonbond alone to drink a latte and read a book.

People always ask me how I manage to always keep busy and attend all these fun events. Well, I don’t wait for someone to hand me my plans. I joined Tidbits and I put the effort to look around for what is going on in Houston.  While at these events, I make connections with those who think similar to me and I get invited to other events because I always appreciate an invitation and show up with a world full of energy.

So stop waiting for Friday, for the summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for the person you like to text you back and for life in general. We can only achieve our happiness by making the most of the moment we are in instead of waiting for some miracle to happen. Go out, make a change, smile more, be excited and treat every day like it’s the best adventure of your life.

Love,

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For The Love Of Fashion

Everyone has something that they’ve loved to do or an interest since childhood. I fell in love with fashion so long ago I can’t quite pinpoint what was my moment. Instead of watching Disney Channel shows all the time, I watched fashion shows and What Not to Wear. I was so obsessed with the fact that you can express who you are, what you like and so much more through your clothes. Fashion to me isn’t just dressing nice, designer brands or being a showstopper but it’s my art. I’m the artist, my body is the canvas and my clothing are the colors, lines and details that create the painting.

People ask me how I think of my outfits and honestly I can’t tell you because it’s the art of style not an equation. I let my mind create and float freely when I’m getting dressed just as a painter strokes his/her brush, immersing yourself in your masterpiece. I’m not a follower of trends. I will not wear blue shoes because it’s in. I wear what I love and what I feel makes me comfortable in who I am. I’m not sure if I can label my “look” because I have so many that I love. One day I’m Jackie Kennedy and the next day I’m Rihanna.

Last night was Runway Houston’s annual fashion show and my first time attending as The Bengali Belle, yay. For the fashion show I wanted to bring out a look that embodies who I am (A Bengali Goddess-Queen, at least that’s what I tell myself). Coming from a Bengali background half of my closet is filled with traditional attire. There’s an indescrible feeling I get when I have traditional attire such as saris, salwar kameez and lehenga’s on. It makes me feel like royalty and I appreciate my culture so much more. So last night I decided to pair one of my lehenga tops but a high waisted skirt with a double slit. I think this is something all South Asians should embrace. Why not take half of that closet and emerge it into your wardrobe? I think it adds a good kick of spice.

So take all the colors in your closet and paint them on yourself however you like because fashion is a powerful art that introduces people to who you are without saying a word.

Love,

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Spring Clean Your Life

Hi Everyone,

If you didn’t read the article I did on spring cleaning the first time around, check it out on Thought Catalog!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/momotaz-rahman/2017/03/its-time-to-spring-clean-your-life/

Love,

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Not My Cup Of Coffee

Growing up I’ve always found that I don’t quite fit a mold or clique. My interests are all over the board and I’ve always enjoyed the company of people from all walks of life. I honestly think it brings new perspectives, opinions, and hobbies and helps you understand how different each of our lives are. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks of it like this. Being a woman, I’ve experienced being disliked for no reason at all by other women.  It’s been something I cannot grasp onto at all. How can you not like someone for no reason at all and without getting to know them?

From an early age I’ve accepted that I won’t always be liked. People are intimidated by those who are different and simply don’t care for other’s opinion. People who truly love their inner being regardless what the world wants to say. That’s something I’ve realized not everyone knows how to react to so they’ll try to label you as “weird” or “damaged”. Everyone vibes with people differently and my aura might not be fitting for some and guess what? That’s okay with me. I am simply not their cup of coffee and they are not mine. Why am I using coffee instead of tea? Well because I am a coffee addict and it makes more sense to me than using tea.

The world is filled with people that no matter how hard you try will simply not like you. It is also filled with those that love you so fiercely and absolutely adore who you are. “Your People” are those who love you and are accepting of you. Don’t waste your precious time and heart trying to convince closed off people a validation of your worth. It’ll go over their head.  Isn’t it funny that when it comes to materialistic things was seek options like different colors, styles, texture, etc. but why is it when it comes to each other we don’t have the same expectations. They don’t want what you’re selling and you can’t convince them to buy into who you are. You are wasting your time, energy, emotions and health trying to convince them to walk this life with you.

So instead of building anger and stress share your journey with those who recognize and appreciate your soul. You are not everyone’s cup of coffee and guess what? That is OKAY.

Love,

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Turn The Page

The picture above was taken four years ago. When I look at the girl in that picture and think about where and who I am now it just amazes me how much has changed. Do you ever do that? Look back at old pictures and think about where you were, who you were and what you were like then? Isn’t it almost like seeing a character you don’t know living a life elsewhere? I like to think I’m having a quarter-century crisis, in a good way of course. This year I’ve literally turned my whole life upside down and living life however I feel will make me happy. You’re probably asking, how and what did I do to come to this place?

Well, I think the biggest thing we all tend to forget is that to move forward we can’t keep one foot inside and the other out the door. We think that we can just start fresh and live freely without dealing and coping with our past. You’re not moving on if you don’t deal with your past, you’re just hiding old baggage moving into a new place. The only way you can accept happiness, love, light, laughter and peace into your life is make space for it that is currently being filled up with your past.

Here are ways you can let go and move on:

Let It Go
Things do not just disappear on their own. That hurt you feel from your ex mistreating you? Yeah, that’s not going to go away because you’re trying something new. Make the commitment to really think about anything and everything you are holding on to. I mean both your emotions and belongings. Letting go means you are accepting that you are in a position to make the choice to let it go. Stop reliving the past pain, stop going over details of the story in your head when you think of that person, stop holding on to old letters and belongings and stop holding onto past emotions. What has happened has happened and you can’t change it or go back in time.

Express yourself
I can tell you from personal experience I suck at emotions. If I was in a fairytale, I’d probably be an ice queen. I literally clean and organize or find things to do than sit there and deal with my emotions, I’m working on that. Express the pain, anger, tears, sadness that person made you feel. Don’t be afraid to talk to a therapist. That’s their profession and you’re not crazy for it. People need to stop treating therapy like a disease. If that’s not your thing, vent to a friend or family member or write it down. You can even write a letter to that person and not give it to them but at least you’re expressing what you feel.

Stop playing victim
We don’t live in a world of black and whites so don’t think of the situation as if it’s one sided. You may or may not have the same responsibility for the hurt and pain you experienced. We all like to blame a person, situation, time or even place but stop trying to be the protagonist who is forever the victim. You’re not in a movie! There are things we do to put ourselves in certain situations. You have to accept your own mistakes to move on as well or else you’ll constantly be putting yourself in the same story. Take it as a lesson as what YOU can do differently in the future instead of instantly blaming others 100%.

Forgiveness is Key
No one is telling you to forget another person’s bad behavior but forgiving them is the way to get over what they did. We get so stuck on what people have done that we don’t even fathom that forgiveness is an option. Think of it like this: you don’t agree with what they did but you forgive them anyways regardless if they deserve it or not. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s being the bigger person and moving forward without holding back. Essentially forgiveness is a way of tangibly letting go.

Life should not be defined by pain. You are choosing to hold on to pain instead of letting go and welcoming happiness back in your life.  So do yourself a favor and close the book of the past and never re-read it again.

Love,

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Spring Clean Your Life

As the weather is getting warmer, the sun is shining brighter, nights are getting lighter and April is right around the corner and you’re probably getting the annual urge to have a good ole spring cleaning. I know I definitely do. I welcomed this beautiful season by not only decluttering my home but by getting rid of the toxins in my body.

Last night I got the opportunity to start spring by attending the Equinox Vernal Party thanks to Houston Tidbits Front Row. Thank you Equinox Houston for being such an awesome host. Ya’ll really know how to throw a fun fitness party. The party was definitely not something I expected with food from Fuel, smoothies, muffins, cake, cocktails, a DJ and even a photo booth before you leave for the night. It definitely was one of the most exciting workout days I’ve had.

Aside from dusting, polishing and throwing away trash have you thought about cleaning out your life? I mean anything from money, work, health and personal relationships. The following process is what I recommend everyone does this spring because what’s the use of a clean home when your life is an utter mess?

Declutter Your Technology
I don’t mean cleaning out keyboards, laptops, smartphones or tablets but I’m talking about documents, letters, work files, useless pictures, videos from concerts (come on are you truly going to go back and watch them?), and cleaning out junk mail.

Scrub away bad financial decisions
To kick things off, print out all your bank statements and go through every single item. Think about necessities like rent, gas, groceries and bills. Look through things you have bought that you didn’t necessarily need to spend money on like that $6.00 latte from that trendy coffeehouse you go to everyday.  Think about all the things you subscribe to or pay for but never use. Nothing makes me feel happier than having my finances organize and being in control of my money.

Spring clean your health
Those New Year resolutions are so long gone and summer is catching up. So don’t be discouraged and use this as a reason to get back into a healthier life. Start by assessing what’s in your fridge, freezer and cabinets and throw away all the junk. Go grocery shopping and stock your kitchen with non-processed and natural options. Don’t be afraid to treat yourself once in a while but that doesn’t mean stocking the cabinet full of junk food that you tell yourself you’ll only eat occasionally. There are ways to eat clean on budget like buying shop brands, sticking to produce that’s in season or even buying frozen fruits and veggies. After tweaking your diet, get moving! Think about work out options you enjoy. Hate cardio? Try kickboxing. Its 2017 people, we literally have so many options from Soul Cycle to Yoga. Every bit counts and keeps a positive outlook by telling yourself that great results will happen if you put the effort for more than a week.

Organize your time
You have a set time for work and if you’re going to school your class schedule is solid but how are you spending your free time? Please don’t tell me you don’t have any because we all have that wiggle room that we end up using for sitting in front of the TV or stalking people on Instagram and wondering how they live their wonderful lives. Guess what? You can take that time and do things you’ve always wanted to learn. Reading is one of my favorite pastimes so I always look into new books to start or different classes available for me to take.

Trash the Toxins
I’m not talking about trying juicing but actually the toxins in your relationships and personal life. We all have friends or relationships in our lives that bring us down. Whether it’s your ex that you can’t cut ties with by 100% or that one friend that is always competing with you. Think about the people that bring you down, bring negative vibes and honestly don’t contribute any positivity in your life and trash them! Trust me you’ll feel so much lighter and better. You can’t clean the rest of your life and then keep that one person around that makes you feel down. Also if you don’t want to get rid of someone maybe you can talk things out and see if you can fix those issues but if it’s not working just walk away.

I hope I’ve helped ya’ll start your spring cleaning because I know starting mine has made me feel so much lighter and happier. Feel free to contact me if you need any help, advice, tips or if you’d like to give me some suggestions. Till then, go outside, feel the sun on your face and love this life we are given once.

Love,

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This Ain’t My First Rodeo

Aside the fact that both my little brother and my mother’s birthdays fall in March, this month in Houston is dedicated to the Rodeo. From the expansive livestock show with more than 30,000 livestock and horse show entries, to the exciting rodeo championships, to the nightly entertainment where stars grace the stage and get us dancing in our seats it truly reminds me why I love Texas, as if I needed a reminder that is.

So I won’t sit here and bore y’all on about how handsome and amazing Luke Bryan is, the fact that I got to see him with two of my best friends of over ten years, or the fact that I threw my healthy eating habits out the window and ate everything fried known to man. What I’d like to discuss today is facing your fears or just doing something you wouldn’t normally do.

Yesterday, I took a deep breath and after encouragement from a friend I decided to take the rail (basically a tram/train for all you Yankees out there). I know what you’re thinking. Okay? So what is the big freaking deal? Well, I HATE public transportation. “Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles,” and this my friends, was my miracle. Public transportation makes me nervous and I have this weird fear of it.What if there’s weird germs everywhere even though I’m not a germ freak? What if I get attacked by a random hobo? All these crazy scenarios just run through my mind. I mean, I won’t hyperventilate if I step into a bus or train but I avoid it like the plague. I would never get on the bus so this was the best option to overcome my fear.

I was not alone but this was still a big thing for me. Although my best friends had to tease me about the fact that there were little kids who were fine and I was being “bougie”, they also reminded me after every stop that I’ll be okay. I just sat there trying to take it all in, observe my surroundings and convince myself that it’s possible to do things you tell yourself you’ll never do even if it means taking the rail. (**See selfie above and my ability to mask my true emotions aka I was screaming inside)

What was the outcome? I’ll admit it was not THAT bad. Most of the passengers were Rodeo attendees so I didn’t have any weird occurrences. However, I’m still not fond of public transportation and I will continue to avoid taking the rail but once a year to see Luke Bryan’s gorgeous smile I might just bite the bullet and do it.

So take chances, overcome your fears (unless its birds and that’s another story for another day) and don’t let anything or anyone stop you from doing whatever the heck it is you want to do.

Love,

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Your Fave Bengali On Thought Catalog

Hey Y’all,

Aside from it being Rodeo season and Luke Bryan coming into town, I have had a lot of reason to be giddy. One is all the support from everyone taking out their time to read my posts and giving me feedback, it really means a lot. Second, a writing piece I submitted to the Thought Catalog got published!

It’s a piece that is very close to my heart. It’s about who I am, my identity and giving exposure to other Bengalis. I mean come on, if  I had a dollar for every time some asked me if I was Indian, “Bangladesh, where’s that?, “Bengali? Wow never heard of that one before” to someone asking me if it is located in Africa I would be as rich as Oprah!

Please like, share, read and even let me know what you think!
Read “This Is What Life Is Like For A Bengali-American” here:http://tcat.tc/2nssGml

Love,

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Made Out of Brown Sugar, Honey & Gold

As Spring is approaching, well more like summer here in Houston, you can already see all the “brown” also known as Desi/South Asians preparing for hibernation until winter comes around. Both males and females fear the sun like the apocalypse. It’s that time of the year where Bengali Aunties give you random skin brightening remedies for those of us who may commit the sin of letting the sun love us. Questions at dawats (parties) about your knowledge of Fair and Lovely and question what tragedy you’re going through, that caused you to bask in the sun. You are told to have stayed home and avoid the possibility of, dare I say, getting darker.

It is not only the Bengali society but all of South Asia that perpetuates these outlandish white standards of beauty, which dates back all the way to the time of the Mughal Empire where the kings and queens were depicted in paintings as much fairer than the common men. Being under the British rule didn’t help that ideology either and some say even the Caste System plays a strong role. “Shada, Fosha,” (white, light) skin was associated with higher social standing, wealth, good health and Bollywood doesn’t help. The movies and songs praise fair-skinned heroines, sometimes even if the actress herself is tan.

I was blessed to grow up with my family telling me that I was beautiful and it never occurred to me that I was deemed “dusky” until I moved to Houston. The strange thing was it wasn’t just the aunties but both guys and girls my age that made comments towards those blessed with more melanin.  It is beyond ridiculous that fair skin women are automatically deemed more beautiful than someone with any hint of color. How can you base the foundation of your self-esteem on the color of your skin?  If you accidentally got left in the sun too long would you no longer feel beautiful?

At the end of the day, it is your perspective on this ideology, your own skin and taking in the negative or positive comments. I’ve had someone tell me I have one of the most unique complexion they’ve seen to being told that I’m just plain too dark. I adore my skin color. I don’t see it as something that cripples me but instead a factor of my beauty.  Stop acting like a bunch of vampires and let the sun kiss your skin as much as it pleases (safely, with sunscreen of course).  Take pride in your “year-round tan” and like I say, don’t wear your skin like a drunken apology.

**A poem for those who have been told they are too dark:

When she is told
Her skin is too dark;
I do not hesitate to offer,
That the sun loved her so much
It kissed her more
Than the rest of us

Love,

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Savasana & Literally Chill

So yesterday was very eventful for me, literally. As a member of Tidbits Front Row, I get a lot of awesome opportunities to attend social events and sometimes they are exclusively held for us. Last night Joy Yoga on Washington hosted  “Champs & Savasana.” Our evening started out with a healthy happy hour which consisted of green juice and healthy bites. Today I’ll be talking about my first experience trying Cryotherapy instead of my yoga experience because I was super lucky to be able to squeeze in a Cryotherapy treatment before hitting my Power Flow class.

When it comes to the cold I am a big wuss. I keep a sweater with me in my office at all times so I’m not sure what prompted me to try this probably because proponents of Cryotherapy swear that the treatment causes the release of endorphins, elevates your mood, enhances circulation activity, decreases inflammation by clearing toxins and metabolic waste and even helps with cellulite.  I’m sure if I was seasonal marathon runner or LeBron James the subzero temperatures would feel great for my sore muscles. The most exercise I did prior to the session was sitting at my desk and walking around my office.

As I waited for the machine to decrease to subzero temperatures, I had to strip down wearing nothing but gloves, socks and a robe. I see this futuristic huge tube like machine that makes me feel like I’m about to be preserved or transported to the future. As I step in, Lauren activates the lift so only my head is sticking out and I hand over my robe to her. As soon as the session started I wanted to jump out and I still had a whole three minutes to go. Before I knew it the nitrogen that was nearly -210 degrees began shooting out.  Lauren told me to slowly march in place for it to help. Imagine being in New York City,  mid-December as the cold icy winter winds are hitting your face and seeming through your clothes. Well, even that is not  close to how cold it was.  Lauren did talk to me as a distraction but that didn’t shield me from the icy temperature attacking my skin. You are always welcome to tell them you want to stop but my mama didn’t raise me to quit. “You have 100 seconds left!”, Lauren shouted but it felt like hours passed by. Finally, I was given my robe and as I jumped out of the ice tube from frozen hell. I could feel my blood flowing back throughout my whole body as I was slowly warming up.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you, OMG I came out feeling like a brand new human. However, I did feel lighter, more energetic and I almost felt as if I had new blood flowing through me. Maybe I need to give it a few more treatments before I realize any changes. I do recommend that everyone tries it especially for those who run marathons and are always very active. Overall it was fun, something new and I survived! I’m grateful for the opportunity and I will never complain about being cold again. Okay, maybe when I’m in the Colorado mountain tops and the wind is almost pushing me off the cliff I might make a squeal but I’ll tell myself, suck it up, you’ve been through worse.

If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask! Ya’ll have a great Friday!

Love,

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