This post a little over due. I’ve been so consumed with the craziness in my life, I haven’t given any time to my love for writing and this blog. So, for Thanksgiving week I was thrown out of my element and went on an RV camping trip. The RV was nice, but I had never done this before. I was a maach (fish) out of the water. My anxiety was up the roof and I even had to excuse myself to the grocery store bathroom, so I could throw up. Talk about serious city girl problems. I was so afraid of the unknown but this trip by far has been one of my favorites.
As the days passed and I woke up to the mountains smiling back at me, I realized this the remedy I needed for the past few months. I needed to be somewhere alone with the heavens, nature and space for God to talk to me. Away from the city life and my to do list swallowing me whole. Living life and going through the roller coasters but not really reflecting or spending time with myself in places my thoughts can dance without being questioned. In the simple beauty of nature and being away from civilization you appreciate the simple things. The beauty of the mountains meeting with the rivers as the trees surrounded them naturally.
In Zion National Park, I did the Angel’s Landing hike. I would lie to you if I told you I wasn’t terrified. I feared I wouldn’t be able to go through with it and immediately labeled it as impossible. I thought of all the reasons why I should marry my fears instead of realizing that they were bad for me. I mustered up the courage to push myself and went and realized that is wasn’t as difficult as I perceived it to be. I also learned how to mountain climb and again found myself holding back to achieving more. Everyone wants to be at the top of the mountain looking down at the earth but the climb to me is when growth happens. Although I had to be encouraged, the rush of excitement when I realized my own strength was something I kept wanting to climb up for. Often times we hand fear our trust when it knows nothing of our strength. This trip was definitely a wake-up call that I build my own walls, not trusting myself and there were so many corners of the earth I was holding myself back from.
I lost myself in the trees in the ever-changing leaves and letting the cold air kiss my face. I slept beneath the wild sky as the stars told me stories of ancient times and of people who sat in the same place as me. The rivers called my name at night as they played the same song to give me a sense of stability. I laughed with the flowers and fell in love slowly with the sunsets. I worshiped the sunrise and consulted the waters. I was reminded by the moon of my strengths and of all the mountains I climbed even though the birds told me I couldn’t as they moved in different directions. I then realized I would not live an ordinary life when the mysteries of the earth called to me so passionately. As I traveled back to towards the city, winter tugged at me letting me know I was going to overcome every storm she was planning to bring.
Love,
The Bengali Belle 